Funny Farm Humor
Funny Farm Humor:
While reading this story just remember these three simle things:
Fishing rule #1: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the
fishing around you.
Fishing rule #2: The least experienced fisherman always catches the
biggest fish.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him
truthful.
Well where do I begin? There hasn't been to much construction on the
barn this week. Tim accidentally placed all of our tools in a geocache.
We unanimously voted that Wes & Lisa take Tim's GPS and go and track the
tools down for us. Tim thought it would be funny to sneak the GPS out of
its case and replace it with a Mickey Mouse compass & watch before they
left. The next thing we knew they were at Disney World in Orlando.
Not to waste a perfect September day, Tim & I decided to go down the
Cahaba River and do a little fishing/sight seeing combo mini trip (we
had our own boat since Wes was M.I.A. down in Cinderella's Palace).
Before you knew it Tim & I were on the road to Tim's little secret boat
launch. Matter of fact it was so secret we took the wrong road twice
then had to get directions from a boy that was sitting on his front
porch playing a banjo (any one ever see that movie "Deliverance"). After
a short argument about which side of a paddle had the least wind
resistance we were afloat.
It wasn't long we were getting bites left and right. To bad they were
from ants that were after a half eaten bag of peanut m&ms that Wes had
left in the boat instead of bites from fish. Tim decided to try out his
new (top secret) fishing pole. He said that a friend of his named Q from
England has FED-X it to him. It wasn't long Tim had hooked a monster of
a fish. That fish was pulling us up river at about 30 m.p.h. and we
almost got a speeding ticket. We were in a school zone (school of fish
that is). We realized there was only two ways out of this. Swim or take
control of the situation. Before no time Tim was a ridding that thing
like a Wave Runner. As that fish was wearing down I grabbed up the cell
phone and called Stan Shughart (our resident Penn State transplant) to
come down to the river bank with his Big Rigg to help us pull it in to
shore. By the time Stan got there that monster fish was about ready to
throw the towel in and was a volunteering to hang on the wall in Tim's
den.
When we got that fish to shore we found out that the fish Tim had been
wrestling with was a "Alligator Gar" (ask Tim to send you a picture if
you have never seen one). This bad boy was about 6 feet long. He decided
that he would clean that sucker and eat him. I wasn't about to help him
clean it. Not after that steak knife accident Tim had. So he called up
Wade to help. Unfortunately Wade was unavailable because he was
attending a "Barney the Purple Dinosaur" Convention downtown. By the
way, Wade loves to be called "Baby Bop" ( isn't that Barney's sidekick's
name?).
I'm sure Tim will have it cleaned by the time Joy gets home. Won't she
be surprised seeing that thing sticking out of the pot!
We still have not found the tools.
Tim was talking about selling a string of Christmas lights and a set of
electric curlers to buy some new ones.